September again: when it is not only the child who goes back to school, but the whole family
Alarm clocks, school bags, timetables — and a whole family trying to find its rhythm again. Whose anxiety is it, in the end?
And suddenly it is September again.
Alarm clocks, school bags, activities, homework, timetables — and with them the familiar effort of a whole family to find its rhythm again.
For a child, though, going back to school is not simply a change of schedule. It can mean a new teacher, a different class, demands, friendships, separation from a parent, or a return to something that was hard for them last year.
And for the parent?
Often it means an anxiety of their own, beginning at almost the same moment:
“Will they settle in? Will they manage? Will they do their homework? Will they make friends? What if the same difficulties come back this year?”
Whose anxiety is it, in the end?
A parent's anxiety for their child is natural. The challenge lies in being able to tell when we are seeing a real difficulty of the child's, and when — without realising it — we are starting to see the situation through our own fears.
A child may simply need a little time to adjust.
They may come home more tired.
They may be more irritable.
They may need more closeness with a parent in the first few days.
Not every change in behaviour needs to be turned immediately into a problem that must be “fixed”.
Sometimes what a child needs most is an adult who can stay steady beside them.
Routine does not mean a military schedule
Returning to a predictable daily rhythm can help children a great deal in adjusting to the new school period.
Regular sleep times, time for food and rest, a reasonably predictable day and clear boundaries create a frame within which a child roughly knows what to expect.
That does not mean everything has to work perfectly from the first week.
Adjustment takes time.
And sometimes the parent needs time too.
When “will they manage?” becomes “how can I help them?”
Here the whole perspective shifts.
Instead of constantly trying to eliminate the child's difficulty, we can ask ourselves:
What do they need from me right now?
More stability?
A clearer boundary?
More space?
To be listened to without being given an immediate solution?
To change something in the way I react?
These are exactly the questions that can be worked on in Parent Counselling.
Not because someone “does not know how to be a parent”.
But because parenting is a role that keeps changing along with the child.
Every new age brings different needs. Every school year can bring new challenges. And sometimes a different perspective is enough to change the way a whole family lives through a difficult period.
Because the aim is not a parent who always has the right answer. It is a parent who can observe, adapt and stay available in the relationship with their child.
Sources & references (6)
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- World Health Organization. (2023). WHO Guidelines on Parenting Interventions to Prevent Maltreatment and Enhance Parent–Child Relationships with Children Aged 0–17 Years. World Health Organization.
- World Health Organization Regional Office for Europe. (2024). Supporting Parents and Caregivers: Mapping and Scoping Review of Experiences in Europe and Central Asia.
- McAloon, J., et al. (2024). The Effects of Online Behavioral Parenting Interventions on Child Outcomes, Parenting Ability and Parent Outcomes: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 27(2), 523–549.
- Kuppens, S., & Ceulemans, E. (2019). Parenting Styles: A Closer Look at a Well-Known Concept. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 28, 168–181.
- Morris, A. S., Criss, M. M., Silk, J. S., & Houltberg, B. J. (2017). The Impact of Parenting on Emotion Regulation During Childhood and Adolescence. Child Development Perspectives, 11(4), 233–238.
This text is informational and psychoeducational. It is not a diagnosis and does not replace a session with a mental health professional.